eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
