Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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