Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
