Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize