don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
