Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize