The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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