Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
