My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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