..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
