$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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