Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
