Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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