He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
