I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
When are your genitals available?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
