i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
