my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
