do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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