Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
