i barfeds in our rink
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
