You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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