I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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