He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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