Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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