ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
