nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
