the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
