you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
