in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
