Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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