More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
