I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
