So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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