Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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