Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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