My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Let's get the cat blown out
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
