I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
