I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
