I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
