Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
is wine microwaveable?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
