she was so not down for the gang bang
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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