For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
