Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
