Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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