Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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