Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
