In the future we'll all be gay
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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