their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
