When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
