i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
a search helicopter?!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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