Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
