So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
