I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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