They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
