Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
