Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
