He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
