I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
