I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
