After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
