Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
