I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
